Using Ritual

Rituals are something we all use in our daily lives. Sometimes rituals stem from our religious beliefs, but they are largely cultural and traditional. Some rituals you may be familiar with include praying before meals or at bedtime, locking your doors at night or maybe even during the day, and brushing your teeth every morning. These rituals are common place for a lot of people and you may not have considered them rituals at all, but they are - they give us stability and faith that all things will be ok. We pray to communicate with God and give thanks or make requests and we believe He hears our prayers and answers. We lock our doors because we believe this practice will keep us safe from intruders while we are sleeping or relaxing in our homes. We brush our teeth every morning because we believe this practice will keep our teeth healthy and keep us away from the dentist. These rituals instill faith and help us get through daily life.

In times of extreme stress or pain people often become unreasonable and out of touch with reality. Their only reality is their stress or pain. Rituals are valuable during these tough times because they give people a handhold that keeps them from buckling under the stress or pain. Whatever belief system you come from, its rituals will comfort and calm you. In America most people say they believe in God even if they have no church affiliation or daily walk with the Lord. This is obvious whenever a plane is experiencing trouble and most people begin to pray. During 911 people rallied to pray. This was indeed a coping mechanism. For some, their faith was real and still is, but for others prayer was a tool they used to get through.

Let's talk about ritual during childbirth. Coming from a technocratic standpoint (use of technology, including medicine and procedures used in hospitals) we find that people who believe in this system are often very satisfied with their hospital births. They may use the breathing techniques learned in a hospital based childbirth class (2 thumbs up) for a while, but when the pain becomes intense they will often fall back on the technocratic rituals used in the institution which may include narcotics or an epidural. They also may be completely comfortable with other procedures like labor induction or the use of forceps. If you agree with the technocratic method, then you will look to it to comfort you. I have heard innumerable times "how wonderful the epidural was" or how awesome the doctor was when he used forceps or stitched up an episiotomy. Granted, an epidural is wonderful for the moment and God bless doctors who can successfully use forceps. But if this is not where you are coming from, then you will most likely not be comforted for long. The physical pain of childbirth is real, but so is the disappointment when you realize your pain is gone but you are immobile, out of control and at the mercy of your doctor and nurses. You buckled.

Using ritual during labor is a great way to cope with the stress and pain that accompanies contractions. You must find something that works for you - tailor made because no one can pop in at the time and say, "here, say these words and you'll be able to cope" and expect that to really work. You may get lucky, but it is far better to plan in advance and know which rituals you may want to incorporate during your labor.

Many women like to take a warm bath or shower. The warm water soothes them and helps them relax. How many of us like to do that when we have had a stressful day? I know I do. Some woman don't think about this option because they are so in tune with "how things are" in the hospital that they assume laying on their back and maybe getting a back rub is their only option. Other rituals include listening to music, singing, repeating phrases or prayers, breathing exercises and even slow dancing with your partner. I suggest that people talk with their hubbies and other birth partners in advance about what rituals they may want to use. If they have something in mind they should use it as often as possible, especially during stressful times in order to practice and make their minds familiar with the ritual. If you sing or worship in the car or shower now, then this is probably a good ritual for you - it allows you to remove yourself from your surroundings and enter a quiet place. Maybe that is not the kind of singing you do - then maybe you need to think of another ritual that will work for you.

Other rituals that may need to be cleared with your doctor, but should not be an issue, may include wearing a favorite comfy gown or t-shirt, eating and drinking certain goodies or watching a favorite movie or movies during labor. While these kinds of things may not eliminate pain, relaxation can greatly reduce it. Being comfortable lends to being relaxed.

Grantly Dick-Read came up with the pain-fear-tension cycle in the mid 1900s. Basically it is the concept that pain leads to fear which leads to tension which increases the pain and the cycle continues. You get the picture - your pain gets worse because you get tense. So you have to find a way to chill out!

By the way, not only does being relaxed reduce the amount of pain in childbirth, it actually facilitates the opening of the cervix. Yes, labor could be shorter if you can really relax and trust in your body to do what it was created to do.

*FYI - One method of natural childbirth that uses learned ritual is hypnobirthing. I am just now getting familiar with this method, but it makes sense. Look for a post dedicated to hypno- birthing in the near future!